oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
