ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
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I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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