I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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