My sheets look like a crime scene.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
