We won't sleep together?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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