i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
