so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
