Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
