i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
