she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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