What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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