Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
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