I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
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