Welp...herpes.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
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then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
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Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize