dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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