We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I would ride that face into the sunset
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
