My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
