I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
