I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize