Duck Duck Cougar?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
