i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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