My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Randomize
