Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize