My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
