He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
