Kiss
Puke
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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