Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i dont even know how to be here
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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