You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
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He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
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Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
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