he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
