I hate all girls vehemently.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
