I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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