that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
