Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
