she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
