Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
