FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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