Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
