instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
