dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Randomize
