As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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