Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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