Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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