his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
