my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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