Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
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