Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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