The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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