I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize