I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize