So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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