Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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