Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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