I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
