dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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