this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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