He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
