this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
