End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
