That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
