At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Boobs speak an international language.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
