Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
