Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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