Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
fuck your aforementioned shoe
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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