We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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