Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
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