This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
