So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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