I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
