how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
