remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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